Keeping in touch

I’ve been thinking a lot about friends lately.  I guess it’s been on my mind because one of my work friends is moving far, far away – Wednesday was her last day with us.  In all likelihood, I will never see her again because she doesn’t have any real ties to the area.  I hate this, but I have to admit that I’m not very good at keeping in touch.  Oh, I follow lots of old co-workers and friends on Facebook, but it’s not very often that I make a comment on their status updates or send them a message.  I am even more terrible at actually picking up the phone and really catching up with them.  I don’t know why I dread talking on the phone so much – if someone calls me, it’s not like I don’t have a great time talking to them.  It’s kinda like performance anxiety or something. 

Is what I have to say important enough to bother them with a call?  

What if they are busy & answer the phone anyway, but then wish they hadn’t because they have so much to do?  

What if I run out of things to say? 

What if they don’t answer – do I leave a message?  

If I have to leave a message, what do I want to say?  

What if their spouse or kid answers, do I have to make small talk with them before I can talk to my friend?

Why exactly was I even thinking about making this call? 

It’s really a very stressful thing for me.  The only person I don’t stress over calling is my mom.  Other than her, you should count yourself among the lucky few if you have ever received a call from me.  It’s almost like I’m making a donation to the phone & cell companies each month because I just don’t talk very much. 

And since it’s hard to make plans to see people if you don’t ever pick up the phone to call them, you can be sure that I hardly ever actually see anyone outside of my family & my coworkers.  It’s not that I don’t love you guys because I really do.  I care what’s going on in your life and I love to know what’s going on with your family.  You just happened to become friends with the world’s worst person at keeping in touch.  So if you are out there and we were friends at school or work or church at some point in the past, please know that I still care.  I’ll try to do better at commenting on your Facebook posts, but I’m afraid that even after talking about it, I still haven’t overcome my phone phobia (that might take professional help).  And if all we ever get to do anymore is say “Hi!” as we pass each other in Walmart, know that with that “Hi!” comes all the love and best wishes of an old friend who misses you.